A Magickal New Years Eve

Tonight, after posting that last post on Raja Yoga, I went into my sacred space (extra bedroom) and began to do some ritual breathing.

I was combining a few techniques - Bardon with Raja Yoga. Bardon has a method of impregnating air with a thought pattern - in my case "I'm peaceful" - it really helps.

I was using the nostril breathing technique described in Raja Yoga (breathing in through the left nostril, while visualizing prana energy traveling up the left side of the spine, then in the right, etc.)

I did each breath and affirmation to a mala beed on a set of Buddhist prayer beads (oddly enough, given to me 5 years ago to this day - when I became a Buddhist on New Years Eve of 2004.)

I was situationed in the West part of the room, at a Table of Practice - on the Table of practice was a shew stone (a top a Wax Sigil Dei Ameth) - and in the East a lone white candle.

About half way through the breathing, I was mentally visualizing (or willing) the candle flame to be tall. Maybe 10 min later, the flame rose before me. Not just slightly. No the flame extended itself almost frighteningly high (I estimate about 4 - 6 inches in height.) The candle itself is about 10 inches tall.. so this was a flame about half the size of the candle.

I went from "Hey that's amazing," to "is this dangerous?"

Then as quickly as it rose, it shrank back down... almost going out... but rekindled to a normal size.

I started to mentally quesiton what I saw when I felt mentally "keep doing your breathing." I finished off the mala bead breathing about 15 min later.

That's when I questioned what occured. What was it? Was it a fire elemental? My HGA? An Enochian?

In the smoke of insense there was a brief figure ... a glimpse of a figure behind the table, behind the candle. I spoke one name of an angel I knew... and nothing happened...

Then I spoke a name of an Enochian angel - CZONS. The room electrified. The hair on the back of my neck stood up. I felt "YES" and the candle flame rose about half an inch.

CZONS, in my work (according to the Great Table), is part of the Fire Quadrant - ORO IBAH AZOPI, which was orriginally attributed to FIRE.

The GD, and subsequent groups have placed Air in the East. But in Dee's time Fire was in the East and originally attributed to FIRE.

CZONS, as mentioned in Geoffery James' work on Enochian is a healer. He deals with health issues.

I've worked with CZONS countless times - burned candles to his name. Dedicated work to him and had even fashioned a ring of purest silver, with his name carved into it, in Enochian lettering.

You could say I have a bond with this being.

CZONS came to be the key to something deeper. A introduction to someone else. Suffice to say I can't repeat it openly - but I feel this next year has some amazing things to occur.

A connection was made with the highest aspect I have strove to reach.

The candle, but a symbol of a being.

The being, but a friend to show me to my Holy Angel

The Angel, appearing to show me to the secret place

The next Full Moon is the next arrangement, till then I am instructed to continue what I'm doing. To keep doing the work of those systems currently under my study. Bardon, Crowley, Golden Dawn, Yoga, Buddhism. It's all been the lights to my path... and I'll keep them lit as they apply.

Raja Yoga: First Steps

In Swami Vivekananda's work "Raja-Yoga" she introduces a first step to the work of Raja - Yoga (sometimes considered Yoga of the Will.)

The initial stage is to set up a place of practice.

In this place she recommends keeping fresh flowers as much as possible.

She also requires that the student strive to not think any negative, or angry thought. This is a classic concept - that I've tried to keep in my own space for years. When one works with any type of magic or mysticism and brings their own angst, bitterness, hatred, fear to the location - the very vibraiton of thought imbrues itself into the material of the room.

The room needs to be conditioned with pleasant and right thought.

Further, each day, the student should salute the directions with something similar to this:
"Let all beings be happy; Let all beings be peaceful; Let all beings be blissful."

She has the student of Raja Yoga send this thought out to each of the directions, starting in the East and working clockwise.

What I like to do is integrate my own spiritual work as much as possible. Since Dr. Dee had a vision of the Enochian banners, being in the order of MPH ARSL GAIOL, ORO IBAH AZOPI, OIP TEAA PDOCE and MOR DIAL HCTGA.... I try to start each day off with chanting the order, while i'm in the shower, getting ready for my day.

I found that the order of the banners is actually related to the original Great Table (which I use, instead of the Revised) and it's directions. The banners as I ordered them above, correspond to opposing directions from the original great table... as in the Original Great Table, MPH... was to the West. ORO... was to the East, OIP... was to the North and MOR... was to the South.

So after I read the names of the memorized Enochian God names in the order of the banner, I read them in the order of the directions and add to it Swami Vivekananda's prayer to each direction.

The banners when recipted form a circle. The call of the God Names by Direction forms a cross. Circle and Cross. Similar to the Cirlce and Cross of the Gnostics.

At any rate... that's how I do it.

The State of Magick Today

I've had a rather disheartening realization of late.

I'm finding more and more ego centric "know it all" members of the magic community and less people doing the pracitcal work. There's an article published by Newcomb that somewhat goes over this topic. Newcomb addresses a body of Thelemites to get out and do the work.

Perhaps I've been too connected with real magicians to not have noticed this of late. Mostly I work in the groups of solo Enochian magicians... Dean, Athena, etc. Where actual magic is discussed, and not ego gratification.

Recently I had a discussion with a modern occultist - after a lengthy discussion the occultist proclaimed several astonishing points:
- They represented Western Occultism, yet held a disdain for the Emerald Tablet - stating they did "not accept an above or below - mater and spirit are not separate," as represented in the Emerald Tablet.
- But most shocking was this person's general statements of "this is how it is" on various topics (which they had little knowledge of) - just clever positioning and arguing.

This isn't magick. Folks, this is personal philosophy pandering. If all we do is aruge to win a point of view, we're empty shells. Discussion is a form of learning. But when an individual seeks not to learn, but feel they already "know it all" and mock and revile the other spiritual teachings... The result of that is inner stagnation.

I don't care if you are a Thelemite, a Golden Dawn member, or a Aurum Solis member... the fact remains, to discount the Emerald Tablet (the formula of magick of accent) is complete ignorance. It is that simple formula that unveils the Kabbalah. It shows the Tree of Life (and Death) - that opens the door to vibratory theory of existence. In short, that tablet is the key to Western Mysticism and Magick.

Granted, you could reject the whole lot and say, "I believe different," but then why carry the label of a Golden Dawn member, Aurum Solis, or Thelemite? Be who you are, and be honest. If you are these things of the Western Mystery schools - then seek not to rot in personal ignorance, chastising the learned tried and true practices of said schools that go back to the ancient of days, with simple waves of the proverbial hand.

Crowley, Mathers, Levi, Dee, Rosicrucians all knew that there were higher planes. This world of existence isn't the "be all end all." In Kabalah there are four worlds. Each world has it's own tree of life. Eeach world is considered "above" and/or "below" another. The terms "above" and "below" are simply indicators and nothing more. Just to help the student of the mysteries understand relationships.

Assiah is the world of matter. Here one might consider that spirit and matter are both present, but in truth - it is a gross world. Vibratory states here are slower then the source of existence.

Further from Assiah is a world where matter has lost it's physical properties as it is in Assiah. Matter just has the symblance of things such as in the Astral Planes. This would be the world of Yetzirah.

Further from Yetzirah, is the world were matter has all but lost it's nature. The vibratory state here is very fine. This is the Briatic world.

Finally, the world of Atziluth is the most refined of all manifestation - being almost entirely spirit.

In each world, Spirit resides, but physical matter becomes more and more sublime, until unrecognizable.

Think for a moment of a magical tool. You may have a wand or cup on your altar - it's a physical object in this world. But in Yetzirah it is the symblance of a physical object made only of energy. In Briah the object is now more thought and intent, having little symblance to the physical object. In Atziluth the object has become almost pure light.

So let's revisit the occultist who believes that the world of matter and spirit is the only reality - that person has no clue to the other realms of the Tree of Life. They have setteled for the mundane. The physical world of matter. They have lost the purpose of magick - Knowledge and Conversation with one's HGA. Crossing the Abyss. Assending.

I've even been accused of late, of spouting "new age mumbo jumbo" for referring to Vibratory theory. Good god, since when did that become New Age? that is certainly not a "new age" concept. In fact you can find this in several sources, but i'll name just one - Raja Yoga.

Again -this is a clear sign of occultists who are not educated, running amuck and spouting things they don't understand. They might be well written. They might have a degree in a Western College... but they lack a crucial element: Wisdom.

At all times we must be fighting our Ego.

How can we spot our ego? When we inflate our positions over others. "That's a stupid idea" is a classic tell tell sign.


Do the Work.

Don't hold a position, unless you understand it.

True Will

I've been reading the writings of someone I respect in the Thelemic community - someone who's ideas are very intriguing. I wrote him privately about the concept of True Will.

What I tried to ask is this: Isn't knowing someone's true will quite easy?

Now I could be wrong, and I'm willing to conceed, if it can be presented to me (and my world view) in a logical manner. Here is my axioms and points:

- I believe in Karma as a reflection of the motivation of our actions
- I believe all beings seek pleasure
- I believe all beings avoid pain
- There is a difference between mundane will and spiritual will. Mundane will may appear to be, "i want to steal a car" but the true will of our highest self would be the best action for our greatest return (meaning spiritual return.)

Those first three axioms are basically Buddhist doctrine - I was once a Buddhist and that path has influenced me perhaps more than any other I've traveled. The fourth axiom listed, is my own assessment.

So considering those four axioms, one could predict my true will. They could say:
- "It's not your true will to harm another"
- "it's not your true will to steal anything from another."
and so on...

But how can anyone possibly say those are not my true will?

Because, they will return in negative ways to me. I don't want to feel distress. I want to feel joy. so my true will is clear: To do only those acts that help the greatest number, and cause the least amount of destruction/pain.

Now I could be wrong. But that's where I'm coming from. I enjoy reading Thelemic works, as they rotate around the concept of Will, directly... but I think that True Will is not something unknown but quite easily seen.

Am I wrong? Perhaps, but if so, I need to be shown the error of my ways, before I can except it.

Realization of the Sun and Moon

A week ago today, I made an attempt to visit my wife's local church. There on that Sunday I sat in a service and took it all in. I didn't quite agree with the Pastor's feelings on things, as one might expect.

At some point during the service, I began to scry a symbol, mentally as it were. I held the symbol I know all too well in my mind's eye. It is a symbol for my very soul. I believe each of us has one - this one was given to me during an early scrying session when I was a member of the Golden Dawn.

As I entered the world through my mind's eye, I saw a vast landscape of an ocean, and an array of trees... tall trees, with leafy heads and slender bodies.

There I called upon a name that I believe to be my HGA. A name I came across during a session of Enochian evocation. The point here, is that I called upon this spiritual being, and he began to teach me a few things.

One thing he relayed, was that I needed to understand the similarities between the sun and the moon (sol and luna.) At first I was thinking in terms of physics. "They both appear to be the same size to the mortal eye, but they are considerably different in size," things like that.

Then I moved a bit deeper and contemplated what sun and moon represented. Sol is equated to Fire, and Luna to water. Opposites. Yet if we draw the symbol for Fire (triangle pointed upwards) and overlay the symbol for water (triangle pointed downwards) we get the Hexagram - depicting opposing forces in balance.

But it wasn't until last night that the biggest realization occured to me.

I was standing in my garage, smoking a cigar.... and pondering all of this... scrying again... when it hit me.

I was reminded of a Thelemic calendar I recently saw, of my birth day/year. Thelemic calendar's use the astrological bodies of the Sun and Moon in the date. My birthdate equated to:
III:3 Sol 25 degrees in Leo, Luna 18 degrees in Aries.

Both my sun sign and my moon sign are in astrological signs of Fire... Leo and Aries. There lies the true similarity for me. Specifically for me. The sun and the moon are similiar in my own life, due to the astrological signs they resided in upon birth.

Dark returns

Dark hallow eyes stare back at me

The vision shakes and trembles with an uncertain resemblance.

What a terrible thing to hear – one’s goddess turn dark and destructive.

Cruel in things beautiful.

Harmful in things honest.

A prisoner of the angry gods I have become.

I stand alone, at the bottom of a stone column, dug earthly deep.

Waist deep I in the stale water, I hear no sound.

Not even my heart beat can be heard.

For I am dead.

Lost without my Light, I stand alone, forsaken and dead.

I recall to mind, the image of my goddess wrought with rage.
Seeing her anger and aggression to me.
…and then I understood.

What I saw and felt only that which I gave to others.

I can only blame myself.

We are eternal… as such, it is only a matter of time till our past catches up with us.

In my case I have come to see my own anger reflected back to me, from another.

From one I love.

From the one I’m devoted to.

I didn’t respond.

I sank.

Into the depths of this dark stone column, built deep within the Earth.

Surrendering to whatever forces of balance are at play.

A.'.A.'., Franz Bardon and Arum Solis

I started growing an interest in Crowley's work. Notably, his dictated Book of the Law.

This has lead me to a growing interest into his school of training called the A.'.A.'. I find it to be quite interesting and unique.

There is an excellent manuscript that one can find online of an out of print work called The Mystical and Magical System of the A.'.'.: The Spiritual System of Aleister Crowley and George Cecil Jones Step by Step.

It covers what the A.'.A.'., is, stands for, and what one can expect in it.

What I really like about it is how it reached me as a reader. As one who was involved in other systems of the occult - such as the Golden Dawn, I found a lot of truth as expressed by the author.
I found in that book, many of the things that I also believed prior to reading it.
My experience with the Golden Dawn came from joining the Essoteric Order of the Golden Dawn - based on the original organization of Hermetic Order of the Golden Dawn.
What I discovered about the Golden Dawn, after joining, was that it seemed to be a order that had immeasurable problems. Now while there are alwys problems in any group, the Gold Dawn had no formal way of dealing with problems.
They didnt have any ethical code nor standard of behavior.
There tended to be a lot of problems within the Golden Dawn - and what was worse, there was an ego from the Grand Impeartor - that Ethics was of no importance... to quote him, "The Golden Dawn is not a religion, nor a cult, it does not monitor people's Ethics."
It's an interesting topic - do just cults and religions monitor ethics? Don't business', schools and other organizations also monitor ethics and standards of behavior?
Recently I raised this exact topic with the Grand Imperator of the largest modern Hermetic Order of the Golden Dawn organization - run by Pat Zalewiski. In my foolishness I thought perhaps their order was different - but he presented the same argument.
As much as the modernist versions of the original Golden Dawn hate Thelema, and misinterpret "Do what thou wilt" they actually embody that sentiment more than they perhaps realize. They expect the individual to police their own behavior. But offer no real guidance to do so.
No guidance.
No tools.
It is the mysterious "current" that is supposed to move people in and out of the order to preserve it. Yet well can see how historically this hasn't worked out so well.
Outside of the ethical delima there is another problem with the Golden Dawn - I felt, that as a student in the Outer order, that nothing was really being gained. You're basically memorizing some tables, and taking some tests.... but for a spiritual occult order, there should be more rigorous training, right?
When I addressed this issue with the order I was in, I was informed that the Real Magick of the GD comes in the Inner Order.
But here's the catch - you are only invited to the Inner Order - not everyone can enter in.
So lets be very clear - all the hype, all the website marketing on various EOGD websites, all the slick flyers they pass into books in bookstores. All that marketing states quite clearly that one can obtain all these amazing abilities... but really the teachings on that material don't come till one is in an Inner Order.
So what are students really doing in the Outer Order? In my opinion it's a waste of time. Even the grand imperator of my order publically stated that no change in the person is expected in the outer order. Grade advancement isn't based on some acomplishment, attainment or even realization. Grade advancement is strictly based on "a desire to improve, and a contrite heart."
In my experience in the Golden Dawn, I saw too many people, who were out of control - get prompted into the Inner Order and still remain out of control.
This isn't to say that people in the order don't gain great attainments - I have met some that do.
But really it's down to their own self determination.
While that's the way the order teaches - self determination - it leaves a vast majority wondering in darkness. Those that excell know a lot of personal methodologies beyond the scope of the GD framework. Some have Buddhist or Eastern backgrounds, others have used works like the Kybalion to assist in their training. But since there is no formal training in the GD, without such external methodologies, it's very difficult to move through the GD system to real adepthood without such training.
Conversely the A.'.A.'. has a very different approach.
They start with magick in the Outer Order. By the time one enters the Inner Order, of the A.'.A.'. they've already advanced past the GD training. The Inner Order of the A.'.A.'. moves beyond that, into the realms the GD never ventured (or so in theory.)
Another interesting avenue of the A.'.A.'. is the focus on ethics. That might seem strange to those who are familiar with some of Crowley's personal life - but one should remember that the some of Crowley's writing was inspired (not from his own consciousness) and some of it was. So his actions to some degree can be removed from the teachings brought to him.
The A.'.A.'. is unlike the OTO. The OTO is a social organization. The A.'.A.'. is a more studious organization - and part of the reading requirements of the Student and then Probationer is to study the works of Raja Yoga and other systems to control the Nephesh and reign in one's desires.
While the A.'.A.'. may not be to the liking of every occultist, I did think it important to distinguish the A.'.A.'. from the GD.

I'm still working through Initiation Into Hermetics - at this point I'm working on charging food, air and liquids into positive statements of effect.

I'm noticing change in my life as I do this, but it's very subtle.

Arum Solis
I've been practicing the work of the Chalice... which is a 9 day work done 3 times. I'm on the first time right now.

I've found the work to be affecting my dreams and I've began to see a subtle energy body where the chalice is astrally created in my room of work.